Returning to being

Today was the first day for a long time that I did any practice. Nothing much, just practising Taiji for 30 minutes on a small lawn between two wards of a local hospital. I could tell that patients, nurses, people were watching. I didn't even let this bother me. It felt good to do something again.

I haven't been unable to train because of some physical injury, but maybe a mental one. I got into a habit of doing nothing, or doing ineffective things.

But today, all day I tried to be in my body. I felt my arm connect with a door and how I swung it open more with strength than centre. I tried to fall into the floor as I walked and noticed how this slowed my gait, made it more rooted and able to turn more balanced. I sat down on chairs noticing every stage in my weight's transition from feet to bottom. I looked further and tried to feel my way all down the long hospital corridors.

Being more whole and total. Being mindful and appreciative. Today marked a return to being.