Determination

I've been thinking a lot today about the subject of perseverance and determination, meeting that wall that we face when we can't face training and keeping on going. It really seems like this lies at the crux of so many things, not just training a martial art, but doing the housework or all of life itself. I can't quote because I only heard from a friend, but apparently Peter Ralston said that he isn't more intelligent or more talented than someone else, just more determined.

Even just doing 1 hour of Taiji today in the park when my mind wanted to stop after 45 minutes... Its so easy to give in to the mind which says that's enough and not challenge it. After all the mind is just expressing an opinion and it may not even be a good one. Very often we don't listen to people who give us advice, but we always seem to listen to our own. It seems to me to be a good idea to just keep going, keep training, push past the limits of the mind's opinion.

"I tried to practice as much as I could today" - right there, it feels true to me, but it's not. It's dishonest to myself to suggest that I did as much as I could. But I did some, and crucially I did more than I could have. If I do more than I could have all the time then that would be a good start. I practiced rooting throughout the day, falling into my feet as an object in space and on the ground. I did the aforementioned 60 minutes of Taiji and I noticed a lot of mistakes.

I also visited the Jiu Jitsu club nearby, staying for an hour I watched them breakfalling and rolling. It seemed pretty much ok, a very cold room to train in - with air con even in the winter! A hard floor, but a clean square open room. I plan to go train next week, hopefully get alot out of it. Certainly being there made me feel tremendously motivated to invest some quality time in practice. To do as much as I can at home in private, in the gym, swimming, Taiji every lunchtime at work, and grounding with every step.

It is moments like these that feel so pivotal, I could use the opportunity to do what I love and improve myself. Or slip back into old habits, which are so hard to break without motivation. What I do now is crucial, what I do tomorrow when I wake up is crucial, but I am determined.